I am not a great mind or an experienced fellow. I just crossed 25 years here. I am just a mediocre person among a huge crowd with a lot of hopes and ambitions. Currently, I live in Bangalore, India. I always love traveling. I just traveled 120 K Ms for a coffee. It is kind of funny. But more than that I loved it very much when I travel alone. I was talking to myself through out the way. I had a lot of questions in mind. But most of them went unanswered.
I love doing things, either it is difficult or easy. Give it a try on whatever it is and learn everything whether it is success or failure. Please stay away from the people who thinks that you can’t do it and show them what you can. Take whatever comes on your way and excel in it. Try to be an all rounder on any ground you are. You don’t need to be a super man to achieve something great. You just need to do the things with extra care, complete attention and love.
The question I am always asking to myself is “Am I going on the right route?”. Life needs real happiness than the other external things. Some will find happiness in buying a home, earning more money, smoking, drinking, roaming all the time or even having sex. That opinion differs between people. The happiness lies in all these things externally. But, is it real? What gives more happiness than these external things? The long drive for a cup of coffee gives me more pleasure than when I got prizes in competitions. Then the happiness is not lying out side. It is lying somewhere inside me. Its just my mind and the way I see things and do things. I always wanted to be helpful to the people around me.
I am from a family of people doing business. That interest to do business is always on my blood too. One day I will run my own business in my native. It may become successful or failure. But still I will do it. I will learn from it. I have a long way to go there. I am still under learning mode. I love the job I do. I am learning from everything I do and also from the people around me. I love learning anything that looks interesting to me.
I learned a lot on saving money from the past 3 years of working. I am saving better than before now. I love doing it. It is better to have it as a habit. But at the same time, I will not compromise it for the wishes I have in my life. Planning is the main buzzword on saving money.
The best thing I am doing after moving to this city is walking to the office daily. Yes, I am walking 6-7 KMs daily. It is better than all other exercises. And also I do walk a little after dinner. I want to continue this as a habit through out. Started going to swimming also. Badminton is on the queue next to it. Only thing that worries me is the food. But I am comfortable with any food. It has never been a problem to me till now in all the places I lived. I am lazy to do cooking just for myself. Still trying to overcome this problem.
I am not afraid to make mistakes. Otherwise I can’t bring anything useful. But at the same time, I have to be ready to accept the mistakes that I am committing. Yes, I am ready for that too because I am learning from it. I am always trying my level best to be flexible to the situation. I will keep doing it. Because everything changes at a point of time. Change is the constant thing in life. I am also changing myself according to the experience I am getting.
Through out my life till now, I have many friends. Some of them are more closer to me and some of them are always there to help me. Having a loving heart for you is always sweet. Fortunately, I have many including my family and friends. I will try to accomplish my tasks without the help of anyone as best as I can. Yes, I want to have that determination till my life ends.
I am always self evaluating me often, whether I am on a way to win. If not, I will try to correct myself. I read a lot of books. That gives me a mind with broader thinking and powerful imagination. Having a library in my dream house is always on my mind. One day, I will have that too hopefully.
I always have short term goals and also long term goals. That always gives boost more than caffeine. That makes me work faster than I am. Whenever I stuck at somewhere, I will take a paper and write on it with all the problems I have and also all the possible ways to overcome it. Now prioritize everything you have and you can get a clear idea now on how to start on overcoming the issue. That solves most of my problem at many situations.
I know still I am a newbie at many things. I am not even married to understand what is life after having family. But I don’t want to change even after that. Loving everyone is the key to success whether it is friend or enemy. I love the way I am!
Today morning I was sitting idle and void in mind. Then after some time, I have started thinking of reality around me. I was thinking of the linked list of objects around me. It was me, my family and friends, my job, my hometown, and blah blah blah. I felt a little bit happy just for a while till the next list starts. After sometime it turned to be unsecure because the list started with the objects that I am yet to acquire. It continued as my dream car, my dream job, my dream family, my dream salary, my dream home, my dream living town, my dream gadgets, my dream future, all happy faces like in heaven. The total room was filled with vague feel. I felt like being a deaf and dumb for sometime till my mobile rings.
The call was from my bank where I have placed an order to buy some shares from a small cap industry in NSE yesterday. The lady on the call told me that the order will be cancelled since I have quoted a very low limit on the bid. I quickly opened my laptop and checked my demat account but before that the bid expired. Shit! I opened the site of a popular news channel. I can only see half naked photos of hollywood actresses and some glamour stills of Indian models in their front page which is given more preference than other news. Then opened my mail and there was some offer mails from e-commerce sites and credit card offers from my banks. Deleted all those mails including some spams. Closed the laptop in despise.
Later I switched on the television, there was a news on upcoming presidential election. India is on a economy crisis, a record time downfall of Indian rupee against American dollar. The government was sleeping from taking corrective measure at right time. They were busy in coming out of dirts from a bunch of scams. As of now, there is no scams atleast for a while. After leaving the right time to act upon it, they increased the petrol price to record high value. This is the achievement by the current FM and now he is going to be promoted to be the highest grade official of India. Yes, for the president post. What is the eligibility for the top post? Who should be honored? I don’t know. Nobody knows. I changed the channel, there was a dance show where some pairs were dancing and the judges gave away a huge applause to every pair and rated every team as 9 out of 10. I moved to next channel, there was a nice duet of my favorite actor. In the bottom of that channel they were showing sms texts from people. I don’t know how, all the texts in it had “i love you” or a girl name. Boys doesn’t have any other work it seems. And the tv channels will charge atleast 3 rs/sms. I don’t know whether those sms are real or they fake some texts to invite people to fell in their trap. In the next channel, I can see the same lady still selling an age-old fitness product for the past 6-7 years and then an astrologer in the next channel. Bull shit! Switched off the TV.
I was thinking of doing something useful but nothing struck mind. I saw yesterday’s news paper at the corner of the bed. I rolled on the bed towards it and opened the front page. There was an advertisement in the front page for a pent house avenue in sea shore and each house is price tagged at 1.49 Crore only. It made me a little bit tensed actually. I felt like tearing the paper and threw it into dust bin. If I work even for next 15 years in the software industry, I can’t buy it for sure. But still that is there in my dream list. Just left the paper there itself.
It was almost 10-11 AM. I just lied on the bed again and was looking at the ceiling fan without anything in mind. This time again I have started thinking of my dream list purposefully. What is the underlying linkage between all of them? Its my dream. It will be a dream till I only dream about it. I can understand it very well. But still why I am unable to achieve it? What is the barrier? Who blocks it from me? Atlast the answer is ME and ME alone. Nobody else.
What can make me perfect to do it? It is my interest towards it. I have so much of interest in achieving all of my dreams. And I am working towards it as I hope but I don’t know whether I am moving on the right path. What is the solution then? Do you think life runs on trail and error method? Can we run the whole life like that? Definitely I can’t. I should take some decisive action at the right time and also my interest should be over there.
Some people may think that I am stupid. But I can’t do anything for that. Somebody may ask me whether I am not satisfied with what I have or not. Unfortunately there is no answer for that from me other than my blinking eyes. The time reached almost 12PM. Still I didn’t getup from bed. Something sparked on my mind. I found the linkage between all the activities that I have done today. Can you get it now? Yes. It is money, money and money. But it is not everything. I know that. Money can make most of the things work. It will not give me a real life that I am longing for. Money can make all the objects around me happy but to make me also happy, I need something else. Still I am searching for it and spent almost 12 hours after that. Its 1:20AM but still I couldn’t figure it out. I am thinking whether I am on the right path or not. Still my friend is checking his office mails in laptop besides me!
Life is a two player zero sum game between me and me!